![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Quarter-Life Crisis
« previous entry | next entry »
Nov. 30th, 2008 | 10:07 pm
mood: 
worried
music: John Mayer - No Such Thing
"Welcome to the real world,"
she said to me condescendingly
"Take a seat,
Take your life,
Plot it out in black and white..."
-John Mayer, "No Such Thing"
So... I'm finally just going to own up to it.
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
The best thing I could think about doing is being a singer, but... come on. Even being a mildly successful singer in this market is a small chance. I'd have to have something freaking amazing on my hands to even become a blip on the radar. So... well, I won't say I'm giving up on it, but it's certainly not my plan A.
It's so frustrating, because I see all these people here in college who've pin-pointed what they want to do, and they look happy to be working on it. I'm currently working towards a Computer Science degree, but-- well-- it's all right. Something tells me if I'll be spending a huge chunk of my life on something, it shouldn't be just all right. It should be fucking awesome; it should be engaging or enthralling or... you know, just plain interesting.
I keep asking myself in my head, "What if I chose wrong? What if I end up hating Computer Science? What am I going to do then?" And no matter how often I think about it, I can't come up with an answer. And, honestly, it scares me.
she said to me condescendingly
"Take a seat,
Take your life,
Plot it out in black and white..."
-John Mayer, "No Such Thing"
So... I'm finally just going to own up to it.
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
The best thing I could think about doing is being a singer, but... come on. Even being a mildly successful singer in this market is a small chance. I'd have to have something freaking amazing on my hands to even become a blip on the radar. So... well, I won't say I'm giving up on it, but it's certainly not my plan A.
It's so frustrating, because I see all these people here in college who've pin-pointed what they want to do, and they look happy to be working on it. I'm currently working towards a Computer Science degree, but-- well-- it's all right. Something tells me if I'll be spending a huge chunk of my life on something, it shouldn't be just all right. It should be fucking awesome; it should be engaging or enthralling or... you know, just plain interesting.
I keep asking myself in my head, "What if I chose wrong? What if I end up hating Computer Science? What am I going to do then?" And no matter how often I think about it, I can't come up with an answer. And, honestly, it scares me.
(no subject)
from:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
artfulreggie
date: Dec. 1st, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
Link
Computer science is a fickle field because most universities teach the theory. The jobs available often have very little to do with theory. (Unless you get a job in academia or doing research for a large company.) I'm not sure if this is true for other fields, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to ask.
In the meantime, I would suggest trying some practical applications of your studies and see if you enjoy them. Maybe write some shell scripts to automate your backups. Or give GUI programming a go with something like Gambas or Cocoa. The only way you'll be certain of what you want and don't want is by experimenting, not waffling.
Thankfully you're still very young and have plenty of time for this. :)
Reply | Thread
(no subject)
from:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
ralenys
date: Dec. 1st, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
Link
You know, that's actually a good point you've got there. I suppose it's just the "figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life" mantra has been drilled into my mind so many times I was worried when I hadn't. Actually, I was really interested by an algorithm (I think it was called "node counting?") they showed us in class today, so there's still hope yet. =)
Reply | Parent | Thread
(no subject)
from:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
artfulreggie
date: Dec. 2nd, 2008 04:37 am (UTC)
Link
Lots of folks go through those uncertain college days. It seems like a lot of stumbling around at times, but when you look back at it, you'll hopefully see how the duress helped you discover what it is you'd like to do. It won't come like the flick of a switch, but gradually you'll discover the things you like (and dislike). The process can take quite a while; I'm still feeling around myself. :)
Reply | Parent | Thread